Episode 67: The Crowley’s
Crowley and Joe welcome new co-host, Bad Gamer Jason to the show! Once the pleasantries are over, the trio get down to business and the best video game awards show done on a podcast gets underway…THE CROWLEY’S! Game of the Year, Dumbest Animal in a Game, and Best Stogie Smoker are just a few of the awards handed out this year. The Crowley’s were recorded with a LIVE discord audience. Be sure to check out the #the-crowleys-chat channel in our Discord. http://eargluemedia.com
The trio announce nominees and winners in the following categories:
Best Stogie Smoker in a game: This award goes to the character who smokes cigars with the most class and style. This character most epitomizes what it means to be sophisticated tool.
Dumbest Animal in a Game: This award is for the animals that we love to hate because they act dumber than a bag of hammers.
Controller Killer Award: This is awarded to the game that forces the player to release all of the pent up angst and rage they hold inside, scream at the game for being terrible, and throw the obvious issue (their controller) across the room.
Best XBOX Exclusive
Best PS4 Crossplay
Games Nobody Played: This award goes to the game nobody has heard of and even fewer have played, but the VGAs decided that everyone should have.
Best Game that Wants to be an RPG: This award is for the little Role Playing Game that could…not. While maybe technically an RPG, this game embodies neither the spirit nor polish of a real Role Playing Game.
Worst Dad Award: This goes to dad who managed to screw up their offspring the most. Worst. Dad. Ever.
Copy and Paste Award: This is the award for the game that phoned it in, made a paper copy of itself and released with some slightly new artwork and maybe a tweaked game play element.
Best Beard or Facial Hair: This award is for the character that grows the most epic or stylish facial hair in a game.
Poop and Play Award: The game best played on the throne.
Best Mobile Game: Yes, there are actual games on mobile. We found them, and we gave one an award.
Hottest garbage: This award goes to the game that came out of the gate stinking worse than two week old Thanksgiving turkey left in a trash bin in an unseasonably warm month
Best Music: This award is for the game that wowed us with its musical score. From the deep, dramatic strings to the ear worm catchy pop tunes, the game wouldn’t be the same without this music.
Best Role Playing Game: The game that makes the player feel like they are in total control of their game character and gives them fantasies of cos-playing at the next San Diego Comic-Con.
Best Action Game: This is the award for the game that gets the blood pumping and the reflexes humming. Or is it the blood humming and the reflexes pumping?
Best Remake or Port: Know what would make this game better? Move it to a different platform or give it shiny new graphics!
Best Sports game: Go Team!
Best Shooter: Guns, explosions, only the twitchiest reflexes will survive.
Best VR Game: Immerse yourself in the game and then vomit shortly afterward.
Art Direction: This award goes to the game that brought us the most beautiful and well designed visuals.
Best Voice Acting: This is for the voice actor that brought the character to life through the spoken word.
Best Moment: This is for that part in the game that blew us away, tied everything together and made all the past frustrations worth the journey.
Best Story: This is for the game that hooked us early and kept us hooked until the end; the game that we didn’t want to stop playing because we wanted to see what was around the next corner.
Best Villain: This award goes to the character that we longed to see defeated. The character that gave us drive and purpose and who we celebrated when they fell.
Best Character: This is the award for the character that we most related to, the one we rooted for, the one that we fought for to succeed in their quest.
Game of the Year: This award is for the game that made us come back for more. The game that stands above all the rest for 2018. The game that brought everything together: music, story, character, visuals and gameplay. This is your Game of the Year.